savedtheworld | [Appointments] March 2012-February 2013

[Things everyone else knows? It makes sense. He had assumed that all the secrets were cleared at the beach - or was this something new, too?]

It's your choice, Katara. I... did think the secrets were over, but I won't hold it against you, especially since it sounds like a burden. And if this is something everyone else knows, I could accidentally find out anyway. So... if you do want to tell me, I'll listen and do my best to understand.

I didn't want to tell you, because... I thought I was protecting you from something that would just pointlessly hurt you. But I've thought about it, and if I want you to know me, the real me, who I am right now, then... I can't keep secrets like this. I just have to trust you to understand and be okay... even if that might take some time.

[She stopped walking and looked out over the river before meeting his gaze again.]

I had a boyfriend here. We didn't really call ourselves that, but - that's what we were.

[Boyfriend. He froze in his tracks and his smile frowned. Not even Jet had- But what if-]

You... you had.... But this was... a love experiment, right? You already told me about those.

It was...

[This was hard. The memory of Chouji was something precious to her. And telling it to Aang... made her feel almost ashamed.]

The love experiment was what started it. But after it was over... all the things I appreciated about him were still true. We were confused for a while, but in the end... well, he was sent home. But then he came back, with his memories, and about a week after that, he asked me out. I said yes.

[He wasn't sure what to say to this. His certainty about where they stood was slipping away. And he was reminded of what Winry had told him about her own love life - how she wound up getting feelings for someone at Luceti after being separated from the person she had feelings for back home for so long.]

Oh. I didn't think love experiments could... could make something real. What... what happened with him? [This isn't still going on?!]

[No. She'd like to put the blame on the love experiment, but... she can't. It wouldn't be right. It was one of the only precious and good things that had happened to her here, and she can't dishonor it like that.]

It wasn't the love experiment that made it real. It was just the love experiment that made us look at each other differently.

[She looks away, down the river for a moment.]

And he's gone now. He's been gone for months. He went home.

[He feels some shame from this response, wondering if he was assuming that the love experiment was responsible just so that he wouldn't have to face the fact that Katara could have developed real feelings for other people here. He still knows it can't have been good for her that he went home.]

I'm sorry.

Me too.

[She smiles a little.]

You would have liked him. But I don't know what I would have done, if I'd learned that we were together while I was with someone else. It would have been a really hard decision to make.

[Because, yes, apparently she feels responsible for this.]

[He gives a small hint of a smile.]

Things would have been... harder, yeah. But I wouldn't want to make you choose. I'm sure I would have liked him.

[That's why this is so hard - because she believes him. She believes that he wouldn't want to make her choose. But she'd have to, anyway. Even doing nothing was a choice.]

Yeah. [Deep breath.] It's hard enough, right now, knowing that someone else is interested in me too.

[Not me? He feels a bit worried. Was there a reason Toph wondered if there had been someone else? She had been here with Katara longer...]

There is?

[...this is really hard.

She looks down.]

...I found out in December that Masaomi liked me. We'd been friends for about a year before that and I hadn't had the slightest clue he'd felt anything beside that, but... he did. So I tried to give him a chance.

[Aang's eyes widen. She had said that he acted "weird", and he accepted it at that... but this was... Aang felt like he had no idea how little of a chance he had here. He spoke in a defeated tone.]

Masaomi? I thought... he was just a weird friend. He actually... You and he... ?

No, we - what? No! No, I just wanted to give him a fair chance. I didn't like him like that. I just - didn't think it was fair to stop him from trying to change my mind.

[And... after Tokyo...]

But I told him that he had to stop trying.

[There was some relief from Katara's clarification, but the part about trying to change her mind confused him. He felt like he preferred the relatively simple methord of obliviousness from back home.]

You did? So... you are still friends.

Yes. He's a good friend of mine, and we've been through a lot. I don't want to lose that. And he doesn't either.

[But she was giving him a concerned look. If this really bothered him...]

I can see where you're coming from. You have to hold on to every bond you can in a place like this. And... you two must've known each other along time here.

[That was one thing that hurt him: all the time he wasn't there while Katara was. Knowing that there were people who were was a comfort in one way, but it was also a reminder of how this place had hurt their own bond.]

A little more than a year.

[...]

So... I just thought you should know. Are you okay?

[He looks out over the river.]

I don't know, Katara. I can understand a lot of what you've told me so far. And it's not the worst thing I can imagine. I'm... glad that you're telling me the truth. Because... I always feel a distance from the way things were back home, from even before the war ended. And it's still weird to think that... even if you didn't date him, Masaomi's still someone that you're known longer than me. It makes me feel like I can't even be the best friend I can be, here. And... I don't know what I should be doing.

[And he knows there's more to Masaomi than what he was told so far, as he thinks about it. He remembers that journal exchange from the dreaded error day. Katara's going to be really upset. So-- that is to say, I'm counting on you, man.]

Oh, Aang. [She reaches out to take hold of his shoulder.] Don't think that way. Even if he's been here longer than we've been together, it's not like I've known him longer. We were just... separated in between, that's all. I never stopped thinking about you, the whole time we were here. I missed you so much.

[She bites her lip, a rare moment of visible insecurity.]

If there's a distance, it's just because... I'm not sure how I should act with you. That's all. I don't want to say or do anything that would make things... difficult.

[That and - she's confused. It's been a little more a year for Aang as well - all that time which they shared together, all these memories of her that she doesn't have. And he says he likes her - he loves her - and she believes him. But it's so hard to see him as anything other than a kid, despite the change in his height. She worries that it would be so easy to forget it completely and do something that would lead him on or... make things worse somehow.]

Edited 2012-05-23 06:22 (UTC)

[He looks back at her and starts to smile.]

That, it really means a lot, Katara. Thank you. And I'm sorry I was gone for so long. ...And about those times I don't remember, when I came and left. I'm sorry I left so many times without all of you.

Also, Katara... I've known you for a long time now. I can handle being close, if you'll let me. I... I can tell things about the way you act a lot better than when I was twelve, so I won't really misunderstand things anymore. I don't want things to be difficult. I want them to be easy as they can be for you, so that you can be as happy as I remember.

[That's never going to happen while we're in Luceti, Aang.]

You don't need to be sorry about any of that. I won't lie to you and tell you that it didn't hurt, but it wasn't your fault. And you're here now.

[She removes her hand from his shoulder.]

And I want to be close with you. I just can't bear the thought that that closeness... is hurting you.

[The removal of the hand drives her point in. He takes a step back, but he steadies himself in the ground.]

I can take it, Katara. As long as I'm here, I'm gonna get hurt either way. [Pause. His face softens] But if I can help you, it'll be worth it.

[Appointments] March 2012-February 2013

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