savedtheworld | Book 6: When the Well is Dry [Voice/Action

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Book 6: When the Well is Dry [Voice/Action - Dated to 08/19]

[It started off as another ordinary day for Aang. After firebending with Zuko, he headed up to the other Avatar House for Airbending training with Tenzin and the kids. But he arrived to find only Jinora. There was no sign of Tenzin; his room was as bare as Suki's had been. Aang knew what that meant. He felt that there was so much he could learn from his elder son, but that time was over. At least he could take care of his family... except that Jinora was still here. Looking over the blankness of the room... his heart tightened as he went to check the other absence.

Jinora had told him that she woke up alone in the room that she shared with Ikki. He checked her bed and found only the prayer beads that he had given to her. He gripped them tightly as he exited the room and crumpled onto the floor outside the door, as he did after Suki had left, but this time he felt so much more crushed. He knew he should feel happy for her. Ikki was just a child, and she was going back to her family before this place could do something horrible to her. But he felt so much emptier without the other Airbender around. Unlike with Suki... Aang already knew that he would never meet her. Yesterday was the last time he'd see her, and he wasn't able to give her a last goodbye. There was so much he still wanted to tell Ikki and teach her.

Is this how Gyatso felt?

No, it wasn't the same. Gyatso couldn't have had any idea that Aang was alive after he ran away. But Aang knew that Ikki was still alive back home, safe and sound. Korra had saved the day. With his grip still bearing the prayer beads, he made a prayer that she had found her way home safely, and that their family would be okay. That things really were on the road to peace back home. And he reflected on their times together... first meeting at the fountain, bending her nightmares away, reading her beautiful drawings, watching her antics at Katara's birthday, getting lemonade with her from the Pokemon trainers, introducing her to Moro and cheering her on at the volleyball game... Ikki had been the first person he met from the future, the one who had first told him everything about this beautiful family. If it weren't for Jinora staying... he'd be left wondering if any of it was really real.

He took some time to try to comfort Jinora, despite how overwhelmed he felt. He was possibly accosted by any of the remaining housemates as he left, but he eventually bolted off and spent most of the day sailing aimlessly on Appa. No adventure this time, just an escape.

There was still something he knew he had to do. He thought about all of Ikki's friends, and he opened his journal with trembling fingers, before he started to record a message. He only took the foresight to filter it from Jinora, so that she would be spared any further pain.]

[Voice / Filtered from Jinora]

Ikki has gone home. A lot of you know have known her by now, so I... I thought you should all know. She wasn't here for long, but she made so many friends. Out of all the people I know she's met here, there wasn't one person who she didn't like. That's the kind of person she is.

She didn't go alone, either. Her f-father Tenzin has also gone back to take care of the family. We... we should be glad that Ikki was sent home before this place could really hurt her. I know that she has a loving family waiting back home. And a... a wise and kind father who has gone with her. It's where they belong. From what I know of the future... they're going back to a happy time. I just want to thank all of you who listened to her and gave her a chance as a friend, and to ask you to just remember her... okay? [In case I get sent home and back again and forget all this.] I didn't know her for long, a-and I may never get to meet her back home, but I know she's going to be a great Airbender, and I'm already proud of her. She earned the title of Avatar princess without even trying and I miss her already.

Her older sister Jinora is still here. The only person left... from [my] that family, and I hope that you show her the same kindness you showed Ikki.

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[He took just a moment to think. Trying to run away did nothing. Some of the others were able to give him some level of comfort... and he felt that Katara would need to talk about it too.]

Yeah, I.... think I'm ready.

How are you holding up?

[He looks down at the floor. It's not something he can sum up in a world.]

I had a lot of time to think about it. And I talked a little with some people about it. I accept that... that they're gone. That they're better off home, where they have their whole family and their baby and Korra's already saved them. [A pause] But it still hurts. I want to talk to them again.

[Katara listened intently, watching him closely as he spoke.]

There's nothing wrong with feeling that way.

[He gives a slight nod, appreciating the understanding.]

I thought I could... no, I don't think I ever could be ready for this. But I didn't they... that Ikki would be gone so soon. I thought it was a good idea to give Tenzin distance to get his family settled, but now I see it that it means I have less of them in my memories. And now I'm afraid of losing that, too.

I know it's hard. But do you really think that while you're here anything will make you forget them?

No. Not as long as I'm here. [Even if part of the fear stems from there already being times he's been here that he can't remember.] But... we can't stay here forever. That life has to be lived for them to be born... those memories will have to be traded for them.

[Katara shakes her head.]

No, don't think about it like that. It's not a trade, Aang. It's not like we're giving it up. We lose them. I know that almost makes it seem worse and... it is. But it's not because we're choosing to lose them.

I see. In a way... I guess I'm glad I don't have to make the choice. Because... I honestly don't know if I could give these times we've had. There was a lot of responsibility, and I know I let her have too much sugar, but I still liked it. If that's what it's like to be a grandpa, then I'm glad to be one. [A slight pause.] But that time with Ikki and this time with Jinora, it's the only time I have to be one.

[Katara reacts to that, possibly badly.]

Aang, you're fourteen years old! You're they're grandfather, but you're not at the same time. It's not the same thing, it can't be the same.

[Katara had loved Ikki. She loved Jinora. But she could only imagine how she'd have felt if she'd loved Tenzin in a way which she... couldn't even comprehend right now. As a mother.]

I know that - that it's not fair -

[Tears well up in her eyes.]

That you don't get to know them in the way that you should. I know that's not fair, I know it. But--

[Yeah, okay, she just starts crying now.]

[He didn't want her to cry... but maybe this was inevitable. His own eyes starting to glisten, he turned to embrace her.]

Katara... I don't know what's fair, when it comes to life or death. I don't want to be the one to decide it. With all the times I could have gone... I feel lucky that I'll be able to make it that long and to start that family. I feel honored. [His composure cracks with a sob and he tightens his hold.] But I wish... I still wish... it was possible-

[She doesn't lean into him, but she does accept his hug. Her hands clench into fists at her sides.]

No. It's not fair. We shouldn't have to deal wishing about what's in our future at all.

[He pulls back slightly.]

You're... I think you're right. Things seemed... so much easier when I could just, just like in the present. ["It's just you and me right now."] I didn't have to worry about... about all of these things! Time just keeps on... messing us up.

[She stays where she is, not moving towards him or further away, even as he pulled back.]

It messes us up... and we're not the same.

[She closes her eyes, tears welling up behind her eyelids. She can't help but think about their relationship. About what Masaomi had said on the riverbank.]

At our core, we still are who we are - Aang and Katara. But we're so different too. In the end, all of this will be erased and we'll go home and be who we are - without all this. But right now... you're not the same boy I remembered from home. You've experienced so much that I haven't seen and...

[...you're in love with someone with my name and my face, someone I will never be.]

...and I'm not the same girl you remember either.

[He feels his heart sink with every word. Hanging onto who they were at his core was what kept him sustained in this place. Though she did acknowledge it, everything she added ran a chill of fear down his spine. And he couldn't help but see the possibility of them being themselves at their core... while what they were outside those cores drove them further and further apart.

He finds himself withdrawing his arms and curling them around his knees on the couch cushion, tears running loose.]

How could you... That can't be right. You're Katara.

[She opens her eyes and turns to face him fully.]

I'm Katara. Of course I am. But look at me, Aang.

[She paused, tears glistening in her eyes. She wore a blue sari, altered in the Fire Nation style. Her ears were pierced, silver birds glistening in her ears. Her features were older, more mature, and stamped with the marks of even more pain and responsibility than he'd seen at home.]

Look at me.

[Some of what she had said before that was sticking in his mind and wounding him slowly for some reason he couldn't put together at first. But as he followed her next request and looked towards her... it hit him. It reminded him of what she had told him before the Invasion. Right before they kissed.

"you're not the same boy I remembered from home. You've experienced so much that I haven't seen and..."

"We've been through so many things together and I've seen you grow up so much. You're not that little goofy kid I found in the iceberg anymore. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm really proud of you."

And there was the difference. "We've been through so many things together and...""You've experienced so much I haven't seen and..." The corrupting difference. They hadn't been through that together. This place had robbed them of their chance to grow up together. It was hard for Aang to realize, since his time with Katara had been relatively unbroken by being taken there. But it was there in front of him. The marks of all the time he missed with her here. He even missed this Katara's sixteenth birthday, and he knew how important that was.

He breathed shallowly as he took in every difference, and he speaks weakly.]

I... I see, Katara. I know. You've had... all this different time. And you don't look much the same as you did when we were... l-last together on Appa's back. [He scans her face, looking for something, some sign of any hope. Then... he adds quickly.] Except your eyes. ...They're still the same.

[She hated hurting him this way. She hated... so many things about this.

But possibly what she hated most was the sickening twisting sensation in her gut that... Masaomi was right. He didn't see her. He hadn't all this time. He'd been looking for the girl without pierced ears and the holes and scars in her heart.

He hadn't seen her.

And she couldn't be sure he was, even now. Couldn't be sure, didn't know how much she could bare to push the distinction, for the sake of what little fragile peace she held.

Oh Aang.]

I'm still me.

[Tears welled up, they overflowed the corners of her eyes.

Her heart felt as though there was a lead weight on it, pressing it painfully.]

I've just... taken a different path. I didn't want to want to, but we didn't have a choice - neither of us had a choice. We have to start from the beginning, Aang, we have to really see who the other person is, or else we won't have anything.

[Her voice broke a little and she looked down.]

And I don't want that.

[It was hard this time, to find comfort in her eyes. Especially with his own sight being blurred tears. He remembered what Masaomi told had told him, but he still struggled with the concept. "The girl you're in love with and the woman I'm in love with are no longer the same person. If you want to build up on a mountain of lies that harms the "Katara," I know, then by all means keep it up." So what if things were different. He loved her before the time that she came here, but... she wasn't on that path here, to being his girlfriend. Even though he had felt... assurances of their bond, when they danced at the beach, when they had their mountain adventure, every time they did bending together.

But it was all collapsing in front of him. She did say that once, to start over. But was that even possible? They swore this place would never beat their bond... but now it seemed like it already won, if she was right. If they had nothing. Most of his words were choked out.]

Katara. How... I... I don't understand. We had a bond before we came here! What am I supposed to do... just forget everything we've been through? On all paths?

No - of course not - I don't know, Aang. I don't know how it can work.

[She looks up at him, tears streaming out of the corners of her eyes.]

I just know that this isn't working either.

[You have to see me - me - or don't think my heart can take it.]

Edited 2012-09-16 05:17 (UTC)

[Aang trembles slightly as he feels the weight of these words. It's not working.. He thought that, despite all the differences... it was working. They were still growing together. But now he felt more loss, more empty. Ikki's gone. Tenzin's gone. And he failed to be connected with Katara. And he felt the same impulse he found in the house earlier. Run away. Detach.]

Katara. [That's still her name, it has to be. He struggles to look up at her and he can't even form a complete sentence.] My... the chakras.

[She doesn't know what he's trying to say. But she's not sure if he's hearing what she's meaning. She can't just... give to the point of losing all of herself, to the point of not being seen for who she is. Not anymore.

So she reaches forward and takes his hand, looking at him, and waiting.]

[That gives some confidence. Some moment to re-evaluate himself.]

No, that... that wouldn't work. That would be wrong. [He shakes his head and looks back at her while keeping a hold on her hand and speaks in a more controlled, but quiet manner.] Why don't you tell me then... what you think I'm missing? Who you... are.

[Katara closes her eyes in pain.]

I don't know, Aang. I don't know what you see when you look at me. I feel like... myself. How can I feel like anything else?

[Even if you see me, you don't love me.

Because she remembered just who he turned into. How can she say this?]

Book 6: When the Well is Dry [Voice/Action - Dated to 08/19]

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