savedtheworld | Book 6: When the Well is Dry [Voice/Action

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Book 6: When the Well is Dry [Voice/Action - Dated to 08/19]

[It started off as another ordinary day for Aang. After firebending with Zuko, he headed up to the other Avatar House for Airbending training with Tenzin and the kids. But he arrived to find only Jinora. There was no sign of Tenzin; his room was as bare as Suki's had been. Aang knew what that meant. He felt that there was so much he could learn from his elder son, but that time was over. At least he could take care of his family... except that Jinora was still here. Looking over the blankness of the room... his heart tightened as he went to check the other absence.

Jinora had told him that she woke up alone in the room that she shared with Ikki. He checked her bed and found only the prayer beads that he had given to her. He gripped them tightly as he exited the room and crumpled onto the floor outside the door, as he did after Suki had left, but this time he felt so much more crushed. He knew he should feel happy for her. Ikki was just a child, and she was going back to her family before this place could do something horrible to her. But he felt so much emptier without the other Airbender around. Unlike with Suki... Aang already knew that he would never meet her. Yesterday was the last time he'd see her, and he wasn't able to give her a last goodbye. There was so much he still wanted to tell Ikki and teach her.

Is this how Gyatso felt?

No, it wasn't the same. Gyatso couldn't have had any idea that Aang was alive after he ran away. But Aang knew that Ikki was still alive back home, safe and sound. Korra had saved the day. With his grip still bearing the prayer beads, he made a prayer that she had found her way home safely, and that their family would be okay. That things really were on the road to peace back home. And he reflected on their times together... first meeting at the fountain, bending her nightmares away, reading her beautiful drawings, watching her antics at Katara's birthday, getting lemonade with her from the Pokemon trainers, introducing her to Moro and cheering her on at the volleyball game... Ikki had been the first person he met from the future, the one who had first told him everything about this beautiful family. If it weren't for Jinora staying... he'd be left wondering if any of it was really real.

He took some time to try to comfort Jinora, despite how overwhelmed he felt. He was possibly accosted by any of the remaining housemates as he left, but he eventually bolted off and spent most of the day sailing aimlessly on Appa. No adventure this time, just an escape.

There was still something he knew he had to do. He thought about all of Ikki's friends, and he opened his journal with trembling fingers, before he started to record a message. He only took the foresight to filter it from Jinora, so that she would be spared any further pain.]

[Voice / Filtered from Jinora]

Ikki has gone home. A lot of you know have known her by now, so I... I thought you should all know. She wasn't here for long, but she made so many friends. Out of all the people I know she's met here, there wasn't one person who she didn't like. That's the kind of person she is.

She didn't go alone, either. Her f-father Tenzin has also gone back to take care of the family. We... we should be glad that Ikki was sent home before this place could really hurt her. I know that she has a loving family waiting back home. And a... a wise and kind father who has gone with her. It's where they belong. From what I know of the future... they're going back to a happy time. I just want to thank all of you who listened to her and gave her a chance as a friend, and to ask you to just remember her... okay? [In case I get sent home and back again and forget all this.] I didn't know her for long, a-and I may never get to meet her back home, but I know she's going to be a great Airbender, and I'm already proud of her. She earned the title of Avatar princess without even trying and I miss her already.

Her older sister Jinora is still here. The only person left... from [my] that family, and I hope that you show her the same kindness you showed Ikki.

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[Some of what she had said before that was sticking in his mind and wounding him slowly for some reason he couldn't put together at first. But as he followed her next request and looked towards her... it hit him. It reminded him of what she had told him before the Invasion. Right before they kissed.

"you're not the same boy I remembered from home. You've experienced so much that I haven't seen and..."

"We've been through so many things together and I've seen you grow up so much. You're not that little goofy kid I found in the iceberg anymore. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm really proud of you."

And there was the difference. "We've been through so many things together and...""You've experienced so much I haven't seen and..." The corrupting difference. They hadn't been through that together. This place had robbed them of their chance to grow up together. It was hard for Aang to realize, since his time with Katara had been relatively unbroken by being taken there. But it was there in front of him. The marks of all the time he missed with her here. He even missed this Katara's sixteenth birthday, and he knew how important that was.

He breathed shallowly as he took in every difference, and he speaks weakly.]

I... I see, Katara. I know. You've had... all this different time. And you don't look much the same as you did when we were... l-last together on Appa's back. [He scans her face, looking for something, some sign of any hope. Then... he adds quickly.] Except your eyes. ...They're still the same.

[She hated hurting him this way. She hated... so many things about this.

But possibly what she hated most was the sickening twisting sensation in her gut that... Masaomi was right. He didn't see her. He hadn't all this time. He'd been looking for the girl without pierced ears and the holes and scars in her heart.

He hadn't seen her.

And she couldn't be sure he was, even now. Couldn't be sure, didn't know how much she could bare to push the distinction, for the sake of what little fragile peace she held.

Oh Aang.]

I'm still me.

[Tears welled up, they overflowed the corners of her eyes.

Her heart felt as though there was a lead weight on it, pressing it painfully.]

I've just... taken a different path. I didn't want to want to, but we didn't have a choice - neither of us had a choice. We have to start from the beginning, Aang, we have to really see who the other person is, or else we won't have anything.

[Her voice broke a little and she looked down.]

And I don't want that.

[It was hard this time, to find comfort in her eyes. Especially with his own sight being blurred tears. He remembered what Masaomi told had told him, but he still struggled with the concept. "The girl you're in love with and the woman I'm in love with are no longer the same person. If you want to build up on a mountain of lies that harms the "Katara," I know, then by all means keep it up." So what if things were different. He loved her before the time that she came here, but... she wasn't on that path here, to being his girlfriend. Even though he had felt... assurances of their bond, when they danced at the beach, when they had their mountain adventure, every time they did bending together.

But it was all collapsing in front of him. She did say that once, to start over. But was that even possible? They swore this place would never beat their bond... but now it seemed like it already won, if she was right. If they had nothing. Most of his words were choked out.]

Katara. How... I... I don't understand. We had a bond before we came here! What am I supposed to do... just forget everything we've been through? On all paths?

No - of course not - I don't know, Aang. I don't know how it can work.

[She looks up at him, tears streaming out of the corners of her eyes.]

I just know that this isn't working either.

[You have to see me - me - or don't think my heart can take it.]

Edited 2012-09-16 05:17 (UTC)

[Aang trembles slightly as he feels the weight of these words. It's not working.. He thought that, despite all the differences... it was working. They were still growing together. But now he felt more loss, more empty. Ikki's gone. Tenzin's gone. And he failed to be connected with Katara. And he felt the same impulse he found in the house earlier. Run away. Detach.]

Katara. [That's still her name, it has to be. He struggles to look up at her and he can't even form a complete sentence.] My... the chakras.

[She doesn't know what he's trying to say. But she's not sure if he's hearing what she's meaning. She can't just... give to the point of losing all of herself, to the point of not being seen for who she is. Not anymore.

So she reaches forward and takes his hand, looking at him, and waiting.]

[That gives some confidence. Some moment to re-evaluate himself.]

No, that... that wouldn't work. That would be wrong. [He shakes his head and looks back at her while keeping a hold on her hand and speaks in a more controlled, but quiet manner.] Why don't you tell me then... what you think I'm missing? Who you... are.

[Katara closes her eyes in pain.]

I don't know, Aang. I don't know what you see when you look at me. I feel like... myself. How can I feel like anything else?

[Even if you see me, you don't love me.

Because she remembered just who he turned into. How can she say this?]

But if you don't know what I see... How can you know I'm not really seeing you? I know you're not exactly the same as you are in my time back home. And I understand that... that you're not on the path where we have that future. I know a lot of you's different, because of how this place has hurt you. You had to- to fight their war, have everything messed with by all these experiments, you had to watch all different kinds of friends disappear, even your b-boyfriend, and you had to live without your dad or me or a lot of the other people you know from back home. And you did all that for years. I can see that... that it's made you harder, a- and sadder. But... still...

It just still feels like your heart's the same. That you still care just as much. I just have to remember... w-when Ikki was here. [until today.] I saw you caring for her even more than I can ever remembering you caring. No matter what, you always make room in your heart for more people. And you give up... so much for them, because of all that love. That's the Katara I've always known, right? The girl who I saw when I woke up. And who saw me, not the Avatar, you saw me, and you understood me ever since. So... I guess I can't really believe that we don't understand each other.

Edited 2012-09-21 06:30 (UTC)

[It would be impossible to say that his words didn't affect her. Hearing him weigh the balance of her time in Luceti was tense and trying, because the whole time she'd so, so wanted him to be there with her, and he hadn't been, so he was speaking of things as he saw them, of things that he didn't truly understand. But then... hearing that he felt her heart was still the same. That was a comfort. A balm. And she wanted more than anything to believe that he was right, that he saw her.

But no matter what he said, she... well... she remembered.]

I didn't say anything about us not understanding each other. There's still that. There's always that. We've been through a lot together here as well, and we couldn't have done it if we were completely out of sync.

I hope my heart's still the same... in the parts of me that care. But you're right, too. There are parts of my heart where I've loved and I've been hurt in places that you haven't seen. That doesn't mean you can't get to know them, or that we don't understand each other. I hold you so close in my heart...

[She trailed off and bit her lip, holding up a hand to get through this, because if she doesn't do this now, doesn't say this now then she never will.]

...but I think it does mean that when you think about the girl you love, you're not really thinking about me. I know it's not fair, and I know you can't help it, but... You're thinking about the girl you won the war with, you're thinking about... [she was crying without sobbing, tears leaving shiny tracks down her cheeks] someone who got to hear your confession the first time when you said it the first time, not because she had to catch up. You're thinking about someone who got to fall in love with you.

[Not someone who was just told that she had. Not me.]

Edited 2012-09-28 19:59 (UTC)

[He takes a moment to let this all settle in, looking down at the floor again. There was no getting around it. Even if they were getting along and trusted each other, still had the same hearts and cores... things have changed too much. He couldn't just... pull this Katara up to the same level as the one who was waiting for him, on Appa's back, on their way to the Earth King. She's not his Sweetie.

So he'll speak quietly and slowly once more.]

I see, Katara. I... I think you're right. No matter how much I try to accept what we are in this place... I've always thought of that at least in the back of my mind. That... that you're the one I call Sweetie, still, that... it could be the same here. But I'm... I'm not gonna let that get in the way anymore. I have to see you, the you in front of me first. Anything else would be wrong. S-so...

[He takes a moment to wipe at his nose and closes his eyes.]

I have to end that. I'm going to try my best. And I'm... it'll be like... like b-breaking up with you. But I think you'd understand... I'm only doing it for the you who's here. I can't do anything for that Katara while I'm here. [And then he looks up at her, trying a fain smile that clashes with the tears streaming down his face.] But... but I can do what I can to... to make things right with the Katara who's right here. For you.

You don't have to break up with her. I mean - I'm not telling you this so that --

[Breathe.]

[She looked back up at him, her eyes still glimmering with tears.]

That's all that I want, Aang. Just for us to really be each other. And to be together, no matter what form that takes.

R-right. That's why... it should feel like breaking up. When I can't think of myself as... as your boyfriend in any way, than we can really be starting again. Otherwise it's not fair to you. When I think of what I have with only the you who's back home in my time... and the you you'll be years from now... it can affect how I see you here. And that's... that's not right, right? I have to do everything I can too see just you, as you are now.

Anything... anything that helps you feel less like you're in a trap. I want what you want, too, Katara. If we can just... be each other, and be together... in whatever form you need it to be.

[No. No she's not taking this on herself anymore. No. It's not right.

Words burst right out of her.]

It's not just about me! It can't be just about what I need. Don't you want that too, Aang? Don't you want me to see you and for you to see me and for us to come to wherever we're going to go here together? Don't you want it - us - to be real?

[It comes out in a quiet whisper at first.]

Y-yeah... I understand, Katara. Whatever happens has to be right for both of us, as we are here, in... in this world. It'd be fake if we... if we just based it on what we have, what we're gonna have, back home. [In case that winds up being just a story. In case they never go home.] That's the only way... we'd be able to really endure here, where so much can become fake. So... yeah, Katara. I do. I do want something real. Where we can both... really see each other, and only make a decision that feels right.

[Her shoulders slump with relief.]

Okay. Okay good. Good.

[...]

Can I have a hug?

[He shakes his head.]

Katara. No matter what we are to each other, even if we were enemies for some reason, you never have to ask for a hug.

[And he goes into to give her a nice embrace.]

[She hugs him back, quietly crying again. It has been a terrible day, and this a terrible conversation. But as they held each other, she had hope that everything would turn out all right.]

[All of this wracked on his heart as he felt her tears on her shoulder. Ikki was gone. Tenzin was gone. His girlfriend, his future wife was gone.

But he had Katara. He still had Katara. And he made sure the firmness of his hug assured them both of that. That they had each other. No matter what path they were going down now, in this world, he knew he would do everything he could to make it the best path for both of them. Until the day came for them to go back to that other path. To have a family.

He sniffed a few times, and some more tears slipped down the dried path of their predecessors. But this time, holding Katara was able to fill him with some warmth again. He remembered so long ago, like in another lifetime, when she had urged him not to give up hope. This time, he'd make sure to listen.]

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Book 6: When the Well is Dry [Voice/Action - Dated to 08/19]

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