I would not speak so soon about feeling proud...

[He drops his gaze now, as if rather ashamed to be admitting what comes next.]

I have found that I am harbouring an anger towards this man. An anger that I am afraid I cannot fully suppress. I have encountered dark thoughts recently of harming him... killing him, so that this will not happen again. I let my friends down, but now... I feel as though I could do anything in order to protect that which is important to me.