Aang (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
savedtheworld) wrote2013-01-25 11:59 pm
savedtheworld) wrote2013-01-25 11:59 pm
Entry tags:
Book 10.5: Aang Meets the Fourth Wall
[Aang was not a happy nomad.
Actually he was feeling relatively in good spirits. His depression was curbed for the time being after drinking some unique mix of special calming teas which may or may not have somehow been spiked with just a hint of cactus juice.
It was when he was trying to meditate outside the back of House 56 when his frustrations began. There was just so much... noise. Noise, noise, noise. Like there was a party near his house. Where did all these people come from?
Eventually, Aang had enough. He rushed around to the front of the house and perched himself on the Sokka head statue to address the crowd.]
Hey! What's with all the noise?!
[The fourteen-year old monk clears his throat.]
Sorry. I mean.. Can you keep it down a little?
Actually he was feeling relatively in good spirits. His depression was curbed for the time being after drinking some unique mix of special calming teas which may or may not have somehow been spiked with just a hint of cactus juice.
It was when he was trying to meditate outside the back of House 56 when his frustrations began. There was just so much... noise. Noise, noise, noise. Like there was a party near his house. Where did all these people come from?
Eventually, Aang had enough. He rushed around to the front of the house and perched himself on the Sokka head statue to address the crowd.]
Hey! What's with all the noise?!
[The fourteen-year old monk clears his throat.]
Sorry. I mean.. Can you keep it down a little?
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Somehow, Amon has managed to put together a makeshift stage. It's difficult to tell how. One would imagine that Luceti doesn't contain quite so many soapboxes as that. It's entirely a mystery where he found the sound system to make his mic work.
But there he is, contributing to the noise annoying the Avatar as he continues his no doubt insidious terrorist propaganda...]
So, what's the deal with swampbenders?
I mean, they live in a swamp. And, uh, they think everything tastes like possum chickens. And...banjos....
...Actually, uh, I forget where I was going with that one. Let me start again.
[...or...bad stand-up comedy...?]
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No, don't stop! I thought you were going somewhere funny with that one!
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Or, you know, some random crowd member shouting something insulting. That sometimes happened.
He stares at Aang, although it's a little hard to tell with the mask.]
You...thought it was funny?
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[AND SO IN ANOTHER LIFE THEY COULD HAVE CALLED EACH OTHER FRIEND.]
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Not that Aang would know. Mask and all. But it sure feels good to have someone appreciate him. His dream...it has come true....]
Yeah. Yeah! That's what I was talking about.
They're a funny people.
Like, this one time, uh.
An earthbender goes and visits the swamp.
He gets along great with the tribe, but being from Ba Sing Se, he can't get over the way they all dress.
So one night he takes one of them aside and asks, so, why do you all just wear leaves?
Swampbender says, pants are an illusion, and that's that.
So, next night, after dinner, earthbender gets up in front of the tribe and says, I've got a magic trick for you.
[...Because magicians perform illusions.
And pants are an illusion.
Which he will be happy to explain if Aang is confused by it at all.]
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A magic trick? Like pulling a rabaroo out of his hat?
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No, uh. Like.
Like wearing pants.
It's an illusion.
Magicians do illusions.
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1/3
The swampbender said pants are an illusion.
So, uh. They thought, uh.
...Listen, let's not worry about the pants.
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Oh, I know.
Since you're an air acolyte, why don't I tell you an airbending joke?
Just for you.
3/3
And so I said, "Don't worry -- it was a breeze."
Eh? Eh?
[SO MUCH FOR THAT "THEY COULD HAVE BEEN FRIENDS" BIT.]
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What's wrong, kid?
You look like you've just seen...Amonster.
Amooooooonnnnnnnster. A monnnnnnnsterrrrrrrr.
Because. Because I'm Amon.
Yeah.
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[All the horror stories are kicking in, so Aang quickly tries to tip the stage with some quick powerful earthbending and turns to run and warn everyone.]
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Woah, buddy. Just because you don't like the joke doesn't mean you should cast the first stone.
Or was it the whole terrorist thing.
I guess that could be off-putting.
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[He panics and fires more rocks at him.]
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Come on, my jokes aren't that bad.
You really should learn to lighten up.
Though all these rocks remind me. Uh.
Did you hear the one about that popular earthbender?
They say he had a gneiss butte.
Uh. Maybe that one works better on paper.
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Oh, so you're an airbender now.
That's, uh.
I thought only the Avatar could do that.
But, well, okay, I can go back to airbending jokes.
Like, uh.
Did you hear about the bending contest between the waterbender and the airbender?
The waterbender had the upper sand at first, but then the airbender got his second wind.
It's like the upper hand.
Only with sand.
And, uh. Second winds.
no subject
[As he tries throwing some more rocks back to slow him down further.]